For when you've exhausted all other options and still need a quick energy boost.
Step 1: Gather dried figs. Any variety will do, but preferably the kind that's been sitting in the pantry since the Clinton administration.
Step 2: Soak the figs in a mixture of hot water and regret.
Step 3: Consume the figs, feeling a mix of relief and desperation.
For advanced users: Try pairing with a strong cup of black coffee for an added kick.
Take it to the next level with our Advanced Techniques page Frequently Asked Questions about Desperate Dried Figs