Desperate Measures

Welcome to Desperate Measures, where the answer is always "maybe" and the question is always "what were we just doing again?

We offer a variety of services, including:

• Last-Minute Solutions
• Buy Now, Regret Later
• Unsolicited Advice

Or, if you're feeling particularly desperate, try:

• Throwing Money at It
• Hope in the Unknown

Disclaimer: Desperate Measures is not responsible for any emotional trauma caused by our services. Side effects may include:

• Excessive anxiety
• Uncontrollable crying
• Impromptu existential crises