You've stumbled into the infamous Dijkstra's Over-Engineering department. Here, the art of finding the shortest path is taken to new, unnecessary, and absurdly complicated levels. Our engineers have been known to solve simple problems with 10,000 line programs.
Meet the infamous Infinite Loop of Doom, where our engineer, John, got stuck for 3 years writing a 10,000 line program to simply turn a light on and off.
Here's what we use in our line of over-engineering: