Are you tired of being interesting? Do you find the world's expectations suffocating? Welcome to Disinterest 40, the ultimate guide to embracing your inner wallflower.
Here, we'll teach you how to do nothing with style. From the art of staring out a window for hours, to the delicate balance of maintaining a 3-inch radius around your personal space, we've got it all covered.
Chapter 1: The Disinterest 40 Method
Our patented, totally-not-patented method involves:
- Step 1: Find a comfy spot
- Step 2: Sit down, but not too close to anyone
- Step 3: Stare, but not too hard
Chapter 2: Advanced Disinterest Techniques
Want to take your disinterest to the next level? Try these advanced techniques:
- Eye-rolling as a form of self-defense
- Sarcasm as a social lubricant
- Excessive sighing as a conversation starter