Are you tired of doing things that don't interest you? Do you feel trapped in a world that just won't let you be?
Welcome to Dissemble and Disengage, the ultimate guide to abandoning your responsibilities and hobbies and just generally checking out of life.
Ignore Your Alarms: Learn to turn off those pesky notifications that remind you of things you don't need to do.
Decline Social Invitations: Because who needs friends when you can have 12 cats and a bag of chips?
Avoid Eye Contact: It's just easier that way.
Disown Your Pet: Time to let someone else deal with the mess.
Abandon Your Car Rental: Who needs a vehicle when you can just take the bus?
Ditch Your Subscription Box: Because who needs artisanal cat food when you can just eat ramen noodles?
Disappear into the Wild: Just leave. Like, really leave. Go to a cabin in the woods or something.
Renounce Your Identity: Who needs a name when you can be a hermit?
Cease to Exist: The ultimate dissemble technique.