Zen Sitting Technique

For when you really need to do absolutely nothing.

Step 1: Remove All Distractions

Close all tabs, log out of your email, and silence your phone. You're in the zone.

Step 2: Focus on the Void

Stare at the wall, contemplate the meaninglessness of existence, and wonder if you'll ever achieve your goals.

Mindfulness Meditation for Sitters

Step 3: Cultivate a Sense of Apathy

Practice the art of feeling neither here nor there. Neither care nor concern. Just exist.

The Indifferent TechniqueStep 4: Repeat as Necessary

Do nothing,ประก

Side Effects:

Weight gain, social isolation, and a deep sense of existential dread.