Are you tired of simply doing nothing? Do you yearn for the thrill of doing nothing, but with more of it? Look no further than the art of Prolonging! With our patented technique of Procrastination by Multiplication, you'll never need to focus on just one task again.
Start by taking a task that would normally be a simple affair, and then... multiply it! Instead of doing 1 task, do 3. Or 5. Or 17. The more tasks you multiply, the more time you'll waste, and the more you'll achieve the state of pure, unadulterated nothingness.
Example: Instead of just cleaning the living room, clean 5 living rooms. And then, while you're at it, clean 3 bathrooms, 7 bedrooms, and 2 kitchens. You get the idea.
Now that you've multiplied your tasks, add a healthy dose of red tape. Create unnecessary forms, fill out reports, and hold meetings. The more you can make your tasks seem like they're taking up an eternity, the more you'll prolong the inevitable moment when you actually have to do something productive.
Example: Instead of just making a to-do list, create a 50-page document detailing every single step of the task, including the color of your socks while you do it.
As you continue to multiply and complicate your tasks, you'll eventually reach a point where the law of diminishing returns applies. This is where the more tasks you add, the less progress you'll make, and the more you'll feel like you're stuck in an infinite loop of nothingness.
Example: You start with 10 tasks, and then add 5 more. But instead of completing 15 tasks, you only complete 12. You're stuck in a loop of multiplying, but never actually getting anything done.
Take it to the Next Level: Advanced Theories of Prolonging
Real-World Examples of Procrastination by Multiplication in Action