It was 1996, and I was determined to be the coolest cat in school. I had seen the Macarena music video on MTV, and I was convinced that mastering this dance would be the key to my social acceptance.
I spent hours in my room, practicing in front of my mirror, but all I could manage was a flailing mess of arms and legs. I was like a wounded bird in a tutu.
I decided to take my newfound skills to the school dance club, where I would surely be the star of the show. But, as I entered the room, I was met with a mixture of confusion and horror.
The other kids were all trying to do the dance, but they were doing it with actual style and coordination. I, on the other hand, looked like a reject from a bad 90s music video.
As I attempted to bust out my signature move, a group of kids in the back of the room started chanting "Macarena! Macarena!" in unison, but it was clear they were not chanting in support.
I quickly realized that, maybe, just maybe, I wasn't the Macarena master I thought I was. Maybe I should stick to my day job.
When I Tried to Play DJ at My Wedding but Only Knew One Beat
When I Attempted to Make a Myspace but Ended Up with a Profile with Only 5 Friends
When I Tried to Start a Pony Hair Dye Business but It Just Turned Out Badly