As a master of the ancient art of doing nothing, you've already mastered the basics: finding the perfect spot on the couch, crafting the perfect procrastination schedule, and perfecting the art of staring blankly into space for hours.
Now it's time to take your skills to the next level with these expert techniques:
Technique 1: The Art of the Perfectly Empty Inbox
By carefully cultivating a state of complete inaction, you'll be able to stare at your inbox with a sense of pride, knowing that you've managed to leave 47 unread messages unresponded to for exactly 3 days and 4 hours.
Technique 2: The Power of the 5-Minute Break
Learn the art of taking a 5-minute break to scroll through social media, only to realize that you've accomplished nothing and return to your original task with a sense of accomplishment.
Continue to Step 3: The Art of the Perfectly Empty To-Do List
Or, if you're feeling particularly inept, try: The Art of the Perfectly Empty Head