Technique 1: The Sandwich Brawl

Also known as "The Great Condiment Uprising," this technique is a bold, unorthodox method of resolving conflict. It begins with a seemingly innocuous gesture, like placing a slice of bread in front of your adversary.

Technique 2: The Breadwinner

The Art of the Brawl

  1. Step 1: Place the slice of bread in front of your adversary.
  2. Step 2: Engage in an unrelenting barrage of verbal jabs and snide comments.
  3. Step 3: As the battle rages on, add condiments and spreads with reckless abandon.
  4. Step 4: When all parties are sufficiently entrenched, call in the cavalry – aka, the breadwinner.
Continue to Technique 2: The Breadwinner

It's a delicate art, really. One misstep, and the entire operation is compromised.

But for those brave few who've mastered the art of the sandwich brawl, the reward is worth it – a lifetime supply of free bread.