Behold, mortal!
This majestic sword is crafted with the finest materials and imbued with the essence of the greatest of Dwarven magic. Its blade shimmers with a light that defies the darkness, and its edge bites deeper than the deepest of wounds. But be warned, mortal, the sword's magic comes at a price: the more you wield it, the more you will be forced to watch reruns of 'The Great Dwarven Bake-Off'.