EMERGENCY PROTOCOL INITIATED

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Please report to the Emergency Response Team (ERT) located at /section_1_2

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE SEVERITY OF THIS SITUATION

CHECK THE SITUATIONAL REPORT

LAST KNOWN GOOD POSITION OF THE CEO:

IN THE CEO's OFFICE, CRYING IN A CORNER

REPEAT: DO NOT APPROACH THE CEO

Note: This response includes a link to /subpages/emergency/section_2_1, which would display a satirical report about the situation, and /subpages/emergencies/section_1_2, which would display the ERT's response to the emergency.