Pressing this button will alert our highly trained team of experts to your distress signal. Please note that our response time is measured in minutes, not hours, not days, but not guaranteed at all.
Also, please be aware that our emergency button pressers may not be able to respond to your actual needs. They might just send you a strongly worded memo about the importance of self-reliance and the dangers of over-reliance on technology.
What to Expect: The Memo Edition Pressing for Fun