Section 2: Emergency Toilet Paper Protocol (ETPP)

Chapter 1: The Basics

When in the midst of a catastrophic toilet paper emergency, it's crucial to remain calm and follow the ETPP guidelines to ensure a safe and sanitary outcome.

Click here for Subchapter 1: Toilet Paper Rollout Procedures

Click here for Subchapter 2: The Art of Wiping

ETPP Version 1.0

Subchapter 1: Toilet Paper Rollout Procedures

When confronted with a toilet paper emergency, follow these steps:

  1. Stay calm
  2. Assess the situation
  3. Determine the extent of the emergency
  4. Dispatch for assistance
  5. Deploy toilet paper as necessary

Subchapter 2: The Art of Wiping

Wiping is an art form. It requires finesse, precision, and a dash of creativity.

Click here for Subsubchapter 1: Wipe Techniques

Subsubchapter 1: Wipe Techniques

Techniques include:

  1. Front to back: the classic
  2. Side to side: for the adventurous
  3. Circle motion: for the truly daring

Remember: practice makes perfect.