Item 1: The 'I'm-Not-Going-to-Call-For-Help' First Aid Kit
This kit includes:
- 1 x 1L bottle of 'I'm Fine, Don't Worry About Me' saline solution
- 5 x 'Tourniquet for That One Guy Who's Bleeding All Over the Place' tourniquets
- 3 x 'I'm-Not-Going-to-Go-to-Hospital' painkillers
Item 2: The 'I've-Just-Started-a-Fire' Fire Extinguisher
This kit includes:
- 1 x Fire Extinguisher with a 'I'm-Not-Going-to-Use-It' instruction manual
Item 3: The 'I've-Been-Abducted-by-ALIENS' Alien Communication Device
This kit includes:
- 1 x 'Press-This-Button-And-Everything-Will-Be-OK' button
- 1 x 'Don't-Call-Me-Back-I'm-Having-the-Time-of-My-Life!' speaker phone