Q: What's the most important thing to do in an emergency?
A: Call 911. Or, you know, just use our fancy emergency kit.
A: The kit includes a first aid kit, a fire extinguisher, a bottle of wine, a firework, and a spare set of clothes for when your pants inevitably catch on fire.
A: Nope. It's just a bunch of useless stuff we found in the back of a dumpster. But hey, it looks good on a shelf!