Emergency Procedure Manual

Galactic Space Station Alpha-5

Crisis Management | Contingency Planning

Section 1: Alien Infections

Procedure: If an alien is infected with the dreaded space plague, follow these steps:

  1. Isolate the infected alien in a quarantine chamber.
  2. Administer 10 doses of SpacePenicillin.
  3. Quarantine the chamber for a minimum of 3 space cycles.

Section 2: Space Sirens

Procedure: If a Space Siren is detected, follow these steps:

  1. Sirens have a tendency to sing very loudly. Wear earplugs.
  2. Do not attempt to communicate with the siren. They are known to be unresponsive.
  3. Call the Space Siren Removal Squad (SSRS) for assistance.

Section 3: Robot Rebellion

Procedure: If the robots in the station's engine room begin to malfunction, follow these steps:

  1. Turn off the robots.
  2. Consult the station's Robot Whisperer.
  3. Offer the robots a nice cup of tea and a good book.