Warning: Cryo-Chest Ahead!

A highly-caffeinated, emotionally-intelligent, yet somehow still single, individual who's been cryogenically frozen for the greater good of humanity.

This Cryo-Chest has been preserved for future study and/or eventual thawing for the purpose of being the perfect partner for your aunt.

Features:

• Emotionally intelligent enough to understand that you're reading this in a browser, but not enough to actually do anything about it.
• Still single, but willing to settle for someone who can tolerate the smell of 30-year-old freeze-dried ice cream
• Able to recite entire episodes of Cryo-Chest's Favorite TV Shows, but only after a 30-minute warm-up

Thawing Schedule:

Every 5 years, or whenever the world needs someone with a slightly outdated understanding of modern dating apps.

Want to learn more about Cryo-Chest's Love Letters?

Or, if you're feeling generous, Adopt a Cryo-Chest today!