The Golden Sarcophagus
The most prestigious award for the employee who best embodies the values of our company: excessive bureaucracy, pointless meetings, and a strong stomach for mediocrity.
- The Golden Sarcophagus For the employee who has mastered the art of doing the minimum work required to not get fired. View Recipients
- The Platinum Paperclip For the employee who has perfected the art of creating 500-page PowerPoint presentations that put everyone to sleep. View Recipients
Honorable Mentions
Employees who have shown exceptional talent in the following categories:
- Most Creative Use of Jargon For the employee who has managed to confuse everyone in the office with their use of buzzwords. View Recipients
- Best Use of the Word "Synergy" For the employee who has used this word more times than anyone should ever have to. View Recipients