John's Extraordinary Stats
Coffee Consumption: 3 cups per day, 100% of the time
Average Response Time to Emails: 3.2 seconds, beating his manager
Procrastination Ratio: 2:1 (actual work done: procrastination time)
Top Skills:
Expert-level proficiency in MS Office
Mastery of the art of finding the perfect snack
Unmatched expertise in playing video games during work hours
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