Procrastination Station
The art of doing nothing.
Spontaneous Combustion
The tendency to set things on fire by accident.
Random Sarcasm Generator
The ability to say the opposite of what you mean and still mean it.
The Inevitable Coffee Spill
The certainty that you will spill coffee on your shirt.
The Unavoidable Sneeze
The inevitability of sneezing at inopportune times.