Research Project "Erebus": A Study on the Effects of Extreme Pizza Eating on the Human Body
Introduction
As the world grapples with the impending doom of climate change, overpopulation, and the impending zombie apocalypse, we at the Institute of Advanced Research have turned our attention to the pressing issue of extreme pizza eating.
Led by Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, a renowned expert in the field of culinary anthropology, our team of 5 highly qualified researchers (all of whom are secretly all 90s kids) have been conducting an exhaustive study on the effects of consuming 10+ slices of pepperoni pizza in one sitting.
Methodology
Our research involves a rigorous series of experiments, including but not limited to:
- Subject recruitment: We've managed to convince 50 local pizza delivery guys to participate in our study.
- Pizza consumption: Our participants are given a 5-foot tall stack of pepperoni pizza and a 2-liter of Coke to wash it down.
- Observation: We watch, we record, we take copious notes.
- Conclusion: We try to figure out what's going on.
Goals
We aim to:
- Document the physiological changes that occur when consuming 10+ slices of pizza in one sitting.
- Develop a treatment plan to reverse the effects of said physiological changes.
- Establish a new national holiday: National Eat-10-Slices-of-Pizza Day.
Contact Us
For more information, or to inquire about joining our research team, please email Dr. Bottomsworth at rpb@eat10slices.com or call us at 1-800-EAT-MORE.