"I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm a 'whenever the coffee kicks in' person."
"My favorite hobby is optimizing the company's database schema for maximum productivity. Don't ask me about it, though. I'll just end up explaining it for hours."
"I've been working on this project for months, and I still haven't figured out how to make it do what I want. But hey, at least the cat's happy."
View Employee Number 2's impressive collection of participation trophies