Energy Drink Recipe

For the Modern, Sleep-Deprived Professional

Warning: This recipe is not intended for actual consumption by humans. It's for entertainment purposes only, but also kind of for actual consumption by actual humans, but don't tell anyone we said that.

Ingredients

• 2 cups of pure, unadulterated caffeine
• 1 cup of sugar (or 5 cups if you're feeling extra fancy)
• 1/4 cup of water (or 3/4 cup if you're feeling extra thirsty)
• 1/2 cup of neon-colored, edible glitter
• 1/4 cup of "I'm-not-sure-what-this-is-but-it-sounds-cool" extract
• 1/2 teaspoon of "I-can-feel-my-heart-racing" powder
• 1/4 teaspoon of "I-think-I-just-saw-a-ghost" powder

Instructions:

1. Shake all the ingredients except forประก the water together in a blender until it's like a colorful, sugary tornado.
2. Add the water and blend until it's smooth and slightly radioactive.
3. ประก the mixture into a cup and serve.
4. Enjoy the rush of energy and/or existential dread.

Want to see what happens when you add more ingredients? Click here to see the "Extreme Energy" version!

Or, if you're feeling extra adventurous, just add salt and see what happens!