RED BULL APOCALYPSE SURVIVAL GUIDE

Welcome, pitiful human, to the Red Bull Apocalypse Survival Guide. You've made it this far, but things are about to get a whole lot worse.

Step 1: Prepare for Impact

Grab a Red Bull, and drink it fast. The sugar rush will give you a 30-minute window to react. Use it wisely.

Next Step: Find a Safe Place to Hide

Step 2: Find a Safe Place to Hide

Look for a bunker with an open bar. If you can't find one, a well-ventilated area with a Red Bull vending machine will do. Don't bother trying to outrun the apocalypse; it's just not that kind of day.

Next Step: Stock up on Snacks