Standard Procedures for Level 3 Protocolectomy
Protocolectomies are serious business. Don't even think about attempting to perform one without following these standard procedures.
Pre-Procedure Checklist
- Ensure you have a functioning spleen.
- Double-check your insurance coverage.
- Notify your loved ones (or not, we won't judge).
Step 1: Pre-Operative Prep
Don your finest hazmat suit and prepare for the worst.
Step 2: Administer Sedatives
Give the patient a nice dose of "Protocolectin" to calm them down.
Step 3: Perform the Actual Surgery
Use a high-speed drill to blast away any offending protocols.
For more information on Protocolectin and its side effects. For an in-depth guide to performing Protocolectomies on particularly stubborn protocols.