According to the ancient art of Not Blowing the Whistle, our Whistleblower Policy is as follows:

1. If you see something, say nothing. Repeat this mantra 5 times in front of the mirror.

2. If you can't say nothing, write a strongly worded letter to the department of Redundancy and Inefficiency.

3. If the above steps don't work, send a strongly worded email with 17 exclamation marks.

4. If all else fails, call our hotline: 1-800-WHO-CARES-1-800

Don't forget to wear your favorite "I'm Not a Whistleblower" t-shirt while following these steps.

Learn about our after-hours whistleblower hotline

Apply for our Whistleblower Subsistence Allowance