Policy Document
This is the most important policy you will ever read. Or not. Maybe not. It's not like you're going to actually read it, but if you do, great, thanks for caring.
Section 1: The Rules (or not)
Rule 1: Don't be a jerk. We know it's hard, but try.
Rule 2: Don't touch the stapler. It's not yours.
Rule 3: Take your lunch break at precisely 12:00pm. Or not.
Section 2: Consequences (of not following the rules)
If you break the rules, you'll get a sternly worded email. Or not. Maybe a mildly annoyed supervisor will call you into their office. Possibly.
But let's be real, the consequences are actually just a bunch of arbitrary nonsense we made up to look important.
Section 3: Subsection D: The Unspoken Rule
The unspoken rule is that there actually isn't an unspoken rule, but we're going to make one up just to confuse you.
So, like, if you're caught talking about the unspoken rule, just pretend you're being sarcastic, and we'll never mention it again.
Disclaimer: This is all just a joke, but don't tell HR we said that.