Zero Tolerance Protocol: Advanced Torture Methods

Warning: The following methods are for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to replicate in real life. Or, you know, actually do.

Method 1: The Discombobulation of Reason

Using an industrial-strength blender, mix 1 tablespoon of despair, 2 cups of existential dread, and 1/4 teaspoon of hopelessness. Blend until the mixture reaches a state of pure confusion.

Technique 1-1: Add a dash of despair Technique 1-2: Blend with an iron fist

Method 2: The Slow Burn of Self-Discovery

Place the subject in a soundproof room with only the soothing sounds of fingernails on a chalkboard and the aroma of burnt coffee. Repeat for 48 hours. Results may vary.

Technique 2-1: Add a pinch of desperation Technique 2-2: Replace with an endless loop of elevator music

Method 3: The Unreliability of Information

Feed the subject a steady diet of conflicting reports, contradictory data, and untrustworthy sources. Watch as they question their own sanity.

Technique 3-1: Add a dash of cognitive dissonance Technique 3-2: Use a rotating carousel of unverifiable sources Technique 3-3: Create a maze of half-truths and lies More advanced techniques