Bathroom Surveillance Officer Training

Welcome, Officer. You've been tasked with the most crucial job in the land: watching people in the bathroom.

Here's the drill:

Step 1: Learn to love the toilet. Its curves, its lines, its porcelain throne.

Step 2: Develop a keen eye for suspicious activity. Does that toilet paper roll have 3 or fewer layers? That's a 5-alarm code-red, son.

Step 3: Know the codes. Learn the secret language of the toilet: "Do I need to flush?" "Is the water running?" "Is the toilet on fire?!"

Step 4: Practice, practice, practice! Watch 10 hours of bathroom footage, analyze the data, and write a 100-page thesis on toilet behavior.

Good luck, Officer. May the toilet be with you.

Disclaimer:

This training program has been certified by the International Association of Bathroom Surveillance Agents (IABSA) to be 99% effective in detecting and preventing Toilet-Based Crimes (TBCs).