Warning: By accessing this page, you acknowledge that the Zero Tolerance Protocol is in effect.

Under this protocol, any attempt to access this page without proper authorization will result in:

- Immediate deletion of all stored cookie crumbs

- Mandatory reassignment to an IP address with questionable internet speed

- Forced viewing of an endless loop of cat videos with a 50% chance of being stuck in an infinite loop with a single, poorly-drawn pixelated cat image

- Random reordering of the alphabet and numbers on your keyboard

Learn more about the Protocol What happens if you try to leave?