Our Policies

We have zero tolerance for:

Procrastination
Chewing with your mouth open
Using the copier for personal use
Whistling while you work

Violations of any of these policies will result in immediate termination.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Our Management

Zero Tolerance Protocol Enforcement Manual

Section 3: Office-Specific Guidelines

Subsection 3.1: Prohibited Activities

Using the "I'm not a morning person" excuse more than twice a week

Leaving your desk for more than 5 minutes without permission

Using more than 3 pieces of office equipment at once

Section 4: Disciplinary Action

Warning: Failure to comply will result in the following actions:

Verbal Warning (1st offense)

Mandatory Sensitivity Training

Demotion to Intern Status (2nd offense)

Termination (3rd offense)

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Links:

Appendix: Zero Tolerance Protocol Violation Examples

Office Nightmares