OFFICIAL DECLARATION OF SARCASTIC DISMISSAL

By the power vested in us, we hereby declare that the concept of "zero-tolerance" is, in fact, a farce.

We, the self-proclaimed authorities of this realm, do hereby decree that any attempt to enforce said "zero-tolerance" policy will be met with eye-rolling, door-slamming, and possibly a few well-placed eye-gougings.

Whereas the previous administration's attempt at "zero-tolerance" was a resounding failure, we, the current rulers of this land, shall instead adopt a more... let's say, "flexible" approach.

We invite all subjects of this realm to join us in our celebration of this declaration, and to take part in our new, more relaxed policy of "tolerance-by-the-ounce"!