Zero Tolerance Protocol » Ticket Appeal Process
Warning: Do not attempt to appeal your tickets. It's a futile exercise in bureaucratic futility.
Step 1: Gather Evidence
Collect all relevant documentation, including but not limited to:
- Receipts from nearby businesses
- Testimony from eyewitnesses
- Photographic evidence of the parking enforcement officer's questionable judgment
Step 2: Write a Convincing Appeal
Craft a heartfelt, well-reasoned argument for why your ticket should be voided. Be sure to include:
- A detailed description of the circumstances surrounding the parking infraction
- A clear explanation of how your actions were, in fact, not a parking infraction
- A promise to behave in the future, should the appeal be denied (though this is unlikely)
Step 3: Submit Your Appeal
Send your appeal to the Parking Enforcement Officer's desk, along with a small donation to support their retirement fund.