Warning: This is not a real financial institution. Repeat, NOT A REAL BANK.

Phase 3 of the Financial Foreboder Protocol has been activated. All transactions will be subject to intense scrutiny and/or ridicule.

We reserve the right to deny any and all transactions, with no explanation or refund.

Hyperlinks to our completely-not-made-up subpages:

• Track My Imaginary Money
• Fees and Penalties: Because You Can't Have Too Much of a Good Thing
• What is a Foreboder, Anyway?