As part of the Zero-Tolerance Protocol, Phase One has been designed to identify and purge all non-essential personnel. This includes but is not limited to: coffee machines, break rooms, and any form of "Casual Fridays".
Those who have been deemed non-essential will be escorted off the premises with a complimentary box lunch and a "You're Fired" stamp on their forehead.
Q: What is Phase One of the Zero-Tolerance Protocol?
A: Phase One is the part where we get rid of all the useless stuff.
Q: Will I be affected?
A: If you're not a robot, you're probably safe.