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Zero Tolerance Protocol

A guide to surviving our completely-not-at-all-tolerant society

Rule 1: Don't even think about it

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT think about our overlords' favorite sports teams. They are not to be trifled with.

Thinking about the team: a crime

Rule 2: Don't even breathe

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT breathe in the presence of our overlords. They have very sensitive noses.

Holding it in for the win

Rule 3: Don't even blink

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT blink in the presence of our overlords. Your eyes are a distraction.

Blinking on the job