You have entered a highly classified area. Please remain silent.
Or risk facing the full force of our unrelenting, soul-crushing, bureaucracy-fueled wrath.
All conversations are monitored and recorded.
Including, but not limited to, your thoughts, dreams, and snack choices.
You are being observed by our team of highly trained, expertly equipped, silence-enforcement specialists.
Their presence is a comfort, really.
For further information, please visit:
Do not attempt to leave. Do not speak.
You will be watched, and you will be silenced.