The Department of Psychological Warfare and Speed Camera Fines

Because your speed demons won't pay for themselves.

Why We're Doing This to You Fine Structure: How We Make You Suffer Your Mental Health (Don't Worry, It's Fine)

Fine 1: The Speed Demonstration

A $100 fine for every 1mph over the speed limit. Because, math.

You'll be receiving a complimentary copy of our speed-demonstration pamphlet to help you understand the intricacies of velocity.

Learn more about our fine structure

Fine 2: The Emotional Distress

A $200 fine for every 5mph over the speed limit. Because, emotional trauma.

You'll be receiving a complimentary session with our team of professional speed-therapists to help you cope with the stress of being ticketed.

Learn more about your mental health

Fine 3: The Existential Crisis

A $500 fine for every 10mph over the speed limit. Because, the meaning of life is not that important.

You'll be receiving a complimentary copy of our existential crisis workbook to help you find meaning in a meaningless world.

Read more about the justification behind our fines