In a shocking display of bureaucratic incompetence, you've managed to get yourself in trouble. Don't worry, we'll just have to reevaluate your existence.

Step 1: Acknowledge your guilt. You know you did it.

Step 2: Write a 10,000-word essay on the moral implications of your actions.

Step 3: Perform an act of public penance, preferably involving 500 hours of community service.