The Consequences of Zero Tolerance

Warning: the following consequences are not actually consequences. They're just... suggestions.

Public Humiliation

• Forced viewing of 24-hour loops of elevator music in the break room.
• Unannounced surprise visits from the "Thought Police" for "evaluation" and "guidance".
• Public shaming on the company's internal social media channels.

Loss of Privileges

• No more free coffee or snacks from the vending machine.
• No more access to the "nap room" for "recharge" or "relaxation".
• No more " flexible" work-from-home arrangements.

Physical Punishments

• Forced attendance at "team-building" events featuring trust falls and group trust walks.
• Random, unannounced "fitness challenges" in the office parking lot.
• Unscheduled "motivational" speeches from the CEO on the importance of "synergy" and "teamwork".

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Learn more about the Zero Tolerance Committee

The consequences are real. The choice is yours. (Or not.)