Q: Why do I need to fill out a 10-page application?
A: Because we're not actually interested in getting to know you as a person.
Q: What if I'm running late for my appointment?
A: You're probably going to be late for your life, so just show up when you can.
Q: Can I bring a friend?
A: Only if your friend is also a highly trained, highly skilled, and highly paid professional in their field. Otherwise, no.
Q: What if I don't understand the questions?
A: That's what Google is for. Or a dictionary. We're not actually paying you to be here.
Q: Can I get a refund?
A: Ha. Just kidding. You're going to be paying for this for the rest of your life.