Escape Planner for Weekend Illusions

Welcome to the most unreliable guide to escaping the weekend. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Today's Schedule:

9:00 AM - Wake up, pretend you're a functioning member of society.

10:00 AM - Spend 30 minutes scrolling through memes, wondering why you're not as popular as that one cat.

11:00 AM - Eat an entire pizza by yourself. Don't worry, it's not like you have better things to do.

12:00 PM - Take a 3-hour nap. You'll need it.

1:00 PM - Realize you're not actually escaping the weekend; you're just delaying the inevitable.

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