Official Statement

We at Envelopedictate Inc. are shocked and appalled by the sheer number of envelopes received in our inbox.

As of today, we are putting an immediate end to our Envelope-gate scandal. No more envelopes will be opened, no more envelopes will be answered.

Reasons for this drastic measure:

• We cannot afford the paper and ink.
• We're running out of storage space.
• Our interns are tired of folding.
• Our CEO has a severe allergy to paper cuts.

We will, however, continue to accept Letters via our Letter-gate portal.

Sincerely, The Envelopedictate Board of Directors.