The subject, a sentient, malevolent envelope, was encountered at 14:47 hours on 02/01/2023 in the vicinity of theæk's kitchen. The envelope, measuring minimalist dimensions of 5.5 inches by 8.5 inches, was observed to be emitting a faint aura of malevolent intent.
Witnesses reported the envelope to be covered in a thick, black substance resembling tar. When questioned, the subject responded with a cacophony of ear-piercing shrieks, causing nearby inhabitants to flee in terror.
Due to the potentially hazardous nature of this abomination, we recommend that all individuals avoid direct contact with the subject. If encountered, please remain calm and slowly back away from the envelope while maintaining a safe distance.
We are currently working on a containment protocol, but in the meantime, please report any further sightings to Abomination-Encounter-Report Prophets.
Abomination-Encounter Report 2 details a similar incident involving a sentient stapler.
Abomination-Encounter Report 3 reports a group of hostile, self-replicating paper clips.