Office Fire Safety Procedures

Important: In the event of an emergency, please do not use the microwave.

Step 1: Panic

Run wildly into the hallway, knocking over chairs and water coolers. This will help you remember the importance of the fire drill.

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Step 2: Call the Fire Department (or not)

Press 911, but only if the fire is not too close. If it is too close, just shout "I'M ON FIRE!" and hope someone hears you.

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Step 3: Evacuate (if you can)

Make your way to the exit, but only if it's not blocked by a row of cubicles. If the fire is too close, just hide under your desk and pray.

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Step 4: Return (if you must)

When the coast is clear, return to the office and try to salvage your burnt coffee mug. If it's too late, just pretend it was always a nice mug.

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Remember: Fire Safety is not just a procedure, it's a way of life!