Office Fire Safety Protocol: Envelope Labeling Edition

Step 1: Panic

Don't worry, it's just a fire! (Just kidding, it's not just a fire.)

Run around frantically, bumping into coworkers' watercoolers and stapler collections.

Step 2: Grab Your Envelope

Quickly locate your trusty envelope, preferably one that's not stuck to your shoe.

Label it with the following information: "FIRE!" and your name, in bold letters.

Don't forget to include a cute little drawing of a fire hydrant or a smiling fireman.

A fire hydrant with a smile

Step 3: Evacuate (Sort Of)Step 4: Wait For Someone Else To Save The Day

Stand in front of the elevator, holding your labeled envelope, looking important.

When the fire alarm blares, pretend you've been waiting for it all along.

When someone asks you if you have an emergency kit, say 'no' and hold up your envelope instead.

A brightly colored envelope with a confident expression

Step 5: Call 911 (Or Not)

Only if someone else hasn't already called, and only if you're not too busy labeling more envelopes.

Be sure to whisper 'it's a fire, but also I labeled my envelope' when speaking to the operator.

Advanced Enveloper Tatics

Envelope Labeling Disaster Helpline