EPIDEMIC FORECAST 101: GET READY TO PANIC

Welcome to the world of EPIDEMIC FORECAST, where we predict the most unlikely, utterly absurd, and totally made-up diseases you'll never actually catch. Because, let's be real, you're probably not going to get sick from eating too much cheese or playing too much video games.

Here's what you need to know:

• Probability of contracting "Sudden Onset Disco Fever": 0.0001%
• Probability of contracting "Extreme Procrastination Syndrome": 0.00001%
• Probability of contracting "Excessive Cat Licking Disorder": 0.0000001%

Don't worry, these diseases are completely fictional and not, like, real. Or are they? Read on to learn about EPIDEMIC FORECAST 102: THE DISEASESประก THE CATS for more information on the most unlikely, utterly absurd, and totally made-up diseases you'll never actually catch.