Particle Beam Guns: Because Who Needs a Lawnmower?

For the discerning individual who wants to blast their way to the top of the corporate hierarchy, we have the Particle Beam Gun. A sleek, ergonomic, and utterly impractical solution to the age-old problem of "getting ahead" in the business world.

Technical Specifications:

• Range: 100 feet (30 meters) without recharging
• Energy Source: Compact fusion reactor (optional: plug-in power adapter available)
• Accuracy: +/- 5 feet (1.5 meters) due to minor atmospheric interference