Escape Plan
Because the apocalypse is imminent, we've prepared an escape plan. Don't bother trying to find a better plan, this is the best one. Trust us.
Step 1: Gather supplies
- Water (at least 1 liter per person)
- Food (non-perishable, preferably not Cheetos)
- First aid kit (includes a bottle of hand sanitizer, because hygiene)
Optional: A map, a compass, and a copy of "Walden: A Beginner's Guide to Survivalist Philosophy" for moral guidance.
Step 2: Choose Your Escape Vehicle
- A sturdy bicycle with a sidecar for snacks
- A Vespa with reinforced tires for maximum speed
- A 1968 Volkswagen Bus with a built-in bar for morale-boosting cocktails
Step 3: Execute the Plan
Put on your best "I've given up on humanity" face and make a run for it.
Remember: speed and stealth are key. Don't get caught.
Step 4: Enjoy the Aftermath
Take a deep breath, enjoy the ruins, and reflect on the meaninglessness of existence.
Learn more about the ruins